Day 3.
In this blog I would like to look closer on the fears attachments to my health.I see how in my mind I have images, when somebody mention their health issue, how quick I go from listening somebody, to automatic go to comparison mode to my health.
This is stirring with in me all kind of fear….,the fears are so ridicules ,….in my mind I end up with a back chat that is totally crazy and have no practical connotation in the first place.
lets start from beginning …..When I was a child I was sick a lot..,and end up in hospitals so many times .I create in my mind already construct and fears about being sick and positive polarity to want to be healthy.For me the most important things was health.Thats why I end up to go to nursing school ,so I can have more knowledge ,and I could know what to do in case of many symptoms and disease .
I already had fears when I enter the world of medicine.
Guess what in the school they teach as mostly about symptoms and cures ,Cures from a perspective of strong pharmacy,of medicine -which they all have a side affect ,sometimes the side affect were so bad that they should not even be called medicine……
So totally in 5 years I got pump up with all kind of knowledge ,knowledge which fuel my fears already existed in me.
So I would like it take responsibility for the fears about my health and sickness.
1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to be in constant fear about my health,instead form basic practically plan how to keep myself healthy ,like investigate what food I can eat,which support my body.
2. I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to be addicted to the energy of fears about my health,to never stop this fear,to not investigate why this point exist in me.
3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself from childhood form this polarity of wanted to be healthy and scare to be sick ,to end up in hospital,which I did not understand why I have to be away from my home ,form my parents and around people in white uniforms and people who I did not know.
4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself in childhood feel totally helpless ,because I did not understand why I was sick.
5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to form fear construct in my mind about my health.
6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,because of this fear and want to be healthy choose carriers and education,to choose my future only because one point of fear ,instead investigate more options .
7.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to existed in fear of my health and because of that missed the real life ,which is physicality with breath and awareness.
8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself never stop this fears, never investigate those fears and not finding the solution,solution with common sense and living in practicality in this world.
9.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to see everything from a perspective of fear of my health ,from a perspective of self interest ,only concentrate on this fear ,which I compound thru my life from a childhood,to make this fear so big ,to abdicate my self responsibility for myself.
10.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to not push myself ,to not find the solution about this fear ,but instead allowed fear dictate my life and decision in my life.
11.I commit myself to stop the fear of my health ,to breath ,to be with physical movement in life.
12.I commit myself to stop this polarity game from health to sickness ,to realize that this is not a solution and is not resolving anything , only allowed more fear to exist.
13.I commit myself to slow down with breath ,to slow down with physical movement ,when I see and feel the fear for my health.
14.I commit myself ,when I see in my mind the back chat going on about my health and fear for my health ,stop and breath ,and write self forgiveness on those points.
Thank you!!
